This week had all the makings to be considered a hard week...but God. We continue to be blown away by all He does for our little family. Daily I am reminded of His faithfulness when I hear giggles echo in our home, when I have to step over mountains of cars, when I get to wipe little bottoms, and when all four of my beautiful children are cuddled on the floor laughing and playing during our morning time for school. I am still a work in progress, but God has does some amazing things in my heart through our journey to the boys. To be honest it's a thrill to jump and free fall into God's arms. To know the safety and peace that only He can give our hearts is a reflection of myself at my very best in this world. Once you experience this kind of closeness it's easier to trust God the next time you find yourself standing in the dark unaware where to step next. I am human and stubborn so I forget. I try to go at things myself...less now then 10 years ago and hopefully even less in 10 more years. But because God knows all of this about me, because He is never going to give up on me, because He has plans to grow me to be more like Him, He allowed me to be part of a story He is telling. A story where I get to be the momma of twin boys from Burundi. Two boys who daily are a boisterous, visible, and giggly reminder of what God can do. I am and will always be amazed that God has allowed me to be part of their story.
Today, January 30th, will mark three months home with our sweet twin boys and as a forever family of six. We have settled into this wild, loud, and crazy fun life. God has grafted us together as only He could do. We are all thriving! Don’t get me wrong. Adoption is a journey of brokenness. A picture of God’s redemption. He takes us broken, messy and just as we are and redeems us to His family as one of His own. Our boys have suffered more in their short life than most Americans will experience in a lifetime. Their story is not mine to tell and I am in no way a hero in it. They are changing me-showing me who God wants me to be. At three months home the boys have mastered laying down and going to sleep. I joked when we arrived at the airport with a friend who has traveled the adoption road twice. I asked how long it would take for the boys to adjust to the time change and sleep through the night. I asked him to tell me what I wanted to hear and said one week, right? He smiled and obliged me by agreeing one week should do the trick. Turns out that is about all our boys needed. By day five home they were readjusted to our time schedule, set on the schedule we had been following, (the same schedule as their shelter had them on) and sleeping through the night (after a two hour afternoon nap). In the early days we played a lot of “found you”. A game where the boys laid on the bean bags under a blanket and yelled, “found you”. Which was our cue to go and find them. We played a lot of found you. They immediately adored their big brother and sister. They loved to just be with them. Over the last three months their bond has become incredibly strong. We are so blessed to have our children home for schooling. The time together has been an undeniable blessing. At the three month mark, they want to love and fully co-habitat with our sweet (but easily excitable) dog, Oliver, but there is still just a twinge of hesitation. They do love him and are very concerned when we leave him home alone. They both still LOVE anything with wheels. Their current favorites are the mail truck and trash truck. We are so grateful for so many of you fueling this excitement in them by sending mail. They love opening the letters they receive from the mail truck. Their best friends are elephant and teddy bear. At Christmas, they made room in their hearts for Mr. Raccoon and Mr. Fox. Their favorite bedtime story is Goodnight Dinosaur. They are really started to get into having books read to them…this makes my heart soar. They love pizza, noodles, and pancakes. And have found their four-year old English words: no, stop, give me that, and oh my goodness. But also I love you, please, thank you, and many many more. We have a pretty set bedtime routine that has been in place since day one. The boys love reading their picture books. One book is the book we sent the boys in Burundi full of pictures of us and one is full of pictures from the day we all met at their shelter. After reading those, we 9 times out of 10 read the Goodnight Dinosaur book. Thursday night, while reading our picture books our youngest said, "Momma, I know you were coming." We knew the boys were told we would arrive on Monday morning, but due to an event in the Burundian government we were delayed until Wednesday morning. It broke our hearts when we learned the boys were told we were coming and then we didn't show up...for two days. I think this is what he was talking about. Those last days of waiting to meet his Momma and Papa. He then continued and shared that her told this girl, pointing at a specific friend in the book, that boy, and this girl that his "Momma is coming". It melted my heart to hear that while there might have been sadness in our delay he was delighted to tell his friends that we were coming! As we continued to "read" the book, he started to point out things he never had before. The missing plaster on a spot on the wall. The curtain going to his room, the window with metal grating in place of glass. He looked up at me and said "Momma! I want to stay here." I scooped him up, gave him a big kiss, and promised that he will always stay here. I looked into his beautiful brown eyes and promised I would always be his Momma! His whole face smiled and he hugged me. He then asked if we could read the “fox book” for bedtime (instead of the Goodnight Dinosaur book). I cuddled these precious boys, that I am blessed to be called Momma by, onto my lap and read them “When God Found Us You”. I only cried a little. I am blown away by the courage and strength of these tiny little humans. There is not a day that goes by that I am not in awe of them. I am not sure if God is using them to remind me to stay focused or if He is simply allowing me to enjoy the gift of trusting in Him. But I do know that I am grateful for the opportunities to run head long into the dark knowing that He knows the way and will get me to where I am going, where He wants me, perfectly safe.
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AuthorMy name is Deidra Miller. I have been married to my wonderful husband, Dusty, for 17 years. We have two biological children and our family is growing again. We prayed for 2,786 days and God answered our prayers. More days (almost 4 years) have been added as we wait for God's perfect plan for our family. We can't wait to meet our beautiful twin boys! Archives
October 2022
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