We were looking though some old pictures and videos tonight and found some treasures. I know how long we have been waiting, but to see how little the kids are in videos and pictures is mind blowing. I can't believe how much they have changed in four years. I decided I needed to add some videos on here so they were part of our blog. This first video is awesome! I didn't remember this before I saw the video. This is Christmas morning, December 2017. We were one year into our wait. Our boys were not born yet and we obviously didn't know they would come to us through a shelter in the mountains in Burundi. Most children at that time were in shelters nearer the city. Sophia is the queen of making awesome gifts for each of us at Christmas and she usually makes a family gift as well. I love that she drew us in the mountains of Burundi. Fast forward a year. It's now January 2018 and we made this video of our sweet girl discussing how God called her and her brother to adoption. While Dusty and I had been praying for YEARS and waiting on God's timing, it turns out He was working on the hearts of our children too. One night in 2016, Ansel and Sophia called a family meeting in her room. They had been "working on a plan" all afternoon, but I was not sure what they were up to. At bedtime, they asked up to join them in her room. They sat Dusty and down and told us God had been speaking to them and they believed it was time for us to start the adoption process. They believed that God was bringing them a sibling through adoption. Here are her thoughts: Just a month later, in February 2018, She decided to give her birthday away. This year she requested zero gifts for her birthday and asked instead that people take the money they would have used on a gift for her and donate it to our adoption fund. Here is the video she made to explain giving her birthday away. Time marches on and God's timing is perfect, but I would be lying if I said it didn't break my heart that these awesome kids missed so much time with their siblings and that their brothers have missed so much time with them. They will be together soon and I CAN NOT WAIT for all the adventures, laughter, and joy to come. Mailing our dossier in 2017.
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It’s morning in Burundi. Today, in Burundi, is our court hearing. If all goes as planned today a judge will declare (and later sign documents) that we are the parents of sweet twin boys. This step is HUGE for our family. Our hearts are so full with joy and excitement. But today my mind continues to wonder and my heart aches for a young mother in Burundi. Today is very different day for her. It’s very possible she has no idea what is happening today, but maybe she is aware or at least her heart knows.
I may not ever meet this women face to face in this lifetime, but my earnest prayer is that I will see her in eternity. Today, she is the focus of my prayers. I know without the slightest hesitation that my boys’ birth mother is strong and courageous. That will be easy to share with them. She did the hardest thing a mother could ever do and her decisions will place her babies, our babies, in our arms. She fell in love and then said goodbye. I pray today that our boys’ birth mother will have peace that she made the right choice, a good choice. I pray that she will have peace that her precious boys are going to be safe with a loving family. This women on the other side of the world, whom we may never meet in this lifetime, is a part of our family. She will always be connected to us. We long for our boys to be home, but we also long for them to know the love of Christ. This is true for their birth parents too. We want God to get the glory for every part of this journey. We pray for salvation for our boys’ birth parents. I pray, today, for our boys’ birth mother’s safety. I pray for health, guidance and protection. I pray she finds rest and comfort in the arms of Christ. A blanket is such a comfort and how often do we take it for granted? At this house, we love being curled up under blankets. There is something so special about having your very own blanket. Through Hope 4 Burundi we can help support women by purchasing these sweet blankets (pictured below with adorable animals they have already created through another family's fundraiser for all the children at our boys' shelter) and then bless the children by giving them each their very own blanket. Please consider making a donation to our fundraiser through PayPal, [email protected] (pay as friends and family). 100% will go to Hope 4 Burundi to make blankets for the children at our boys’ shelter. Our goal is to raise $250.00! We are excited to partner with Hope 4 Burundi to send all the children at our boys’ shelter a blanket. This is a great way to support women in Burundi, as they make the blankets, and provide the children with their very own blanket. We are working together with two other families to cover the cost of these blankets for every child at our boys’ shelter. These two families are very dear to us. Even though we have never met face to face, we will always be connected through our beautiful children. To learn more about Hope4Burundi check them out here: You turn 4 today! Happy Birthday my sweet boys. You will wake up in just a few hours and It will be your birthday. Your whole life is ahead of you and yet you have lived a lifetime of experiences already. We continue to pray that God will prepare your hearts for Him and for us.
We long to hold you in our arms and tell you how much you are loved. We long to hear your laughter and find joy in the things you find joy in. We desperately want you to know, on your 4th birthday, that you have been always been loved, you have always belonged, and you have and will always be God's child. In six days a court hearing will declare we are your parents, but our hearts have known that since the moment we saw your handsome faces (and years before that). We are fighting our way to you. We will never give up. We will come as soon as we can. We have loved you since forever. We are, everyday, closer to our forever together. Happy Birthday, Harrison! Happy Birthday, Ennis! We love you! Dark tunnels come and go in this life. As time moves on, we learn and grow (hopefully). We realize along the way some tunnels were not as dark as we thought and we know some were pitch black. What changes isn't that we don't go through tunnels, but how we react while traveling through that space. We also grow in knowing that tunnels may look different through other's eyes and we can't judge their tunnel. I find myself in a tunnel right now. It’s not the darkest, longest, or most challenging, but it's dark today! We were so hopeful to hear we had a court date back in May. Since then we have seen no progress from the Burundian courts (maybe it's there, but we are seeing no movement on several fronts). Our boys have also learned of us, although we have no idea how they processed that news or if it's being positively encouraged or discussed. July has begun and still we have no prospect of a court date being set. We will watch our boy’s birthday go by this month without them in our arms. We will celebrate, but not how our hearts desire to celebrate. Each day that passes pushes our travel dates further into the fall. God knows where this tunnel lets out, but right now we sit in the dark unable to see the other side. "Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act." Psalm 37:5 I have to trust the engineer. My job is it sit still, putting my trust in Him, and He will act. We all know I struggle with the sit still part, I am a work in progress. I don't know about you, but when I am in a tunnel I sometimes need reminders that the engineer can get me through. I shouldn’t, but I do! I have to ensure my eyes are on the engineer (God) not the darkness around me. I am thankful for those who support me, love me and push me in the right direction. I can make plans, I can have hopes, but if everything I do isn't grounded in God it will not last. I am finite, He is infinite. It is only through God that I have an impact in this world. I have been so focused on my desire to have my boy’s home, I lost focus in my prayer life for things that matter so much more. I long for the boys to be in our arms, but I also long for them to know deeply and profoundly the love of Christ. God has promised He will bring the children He ordained for our family home. That prayer was yes and Amen. I don't need to meditate over that any longer. God is doing it, even if I don't see the courts (or other things) moving. I have to shift my focus from myself, sitting in a dark tunnel, and look outward to others. God is still growing me. My flesh wins many days. Satan's whispers take hold easily when I am sitting in that darkness. A friend sent me a song this week for an unrelated reason, but God knew I needed to hear it now. It unwrapped so much in my heart. 1) God is working, even in the winter when we don't see the seeds underground. 2) God promised my children and He is a God who keeps His promises. I have nothing to fear. 3) I can only do my part and I have to leave the rest of the work in others hands where it belongs. 4) When I am focused on me, I am not standing for others, I am not able to fight on your behalf, and am definitely not shining God's light. 5) My love grows my children and I have to keep my eyes fixed on God so when my children follow me, they can see Him standing right in front of me. Here is the song she sent me by Andrew Peterson: My greatest joy is being a mother, but the trees I plant can only grow with God's love watering them. I have said it before, but I am disillusioned that these four beautiful humans are mine. They are on loan to me and God had marked out their days.
I have to hold my blessings loosely. I have to look further out, past the tunnel. Our wait seems so long, but we know it’s only the beginning of the journey. And the journey is short in this life. Eternity is our goal. I have to keep my eyes on God and know he has all the details. I have to trust He knows the way out of the tunnel, how long it will take, and what the scenery looks like when we emerge back into the sunlight. Parenting is the hard part of this journey and while I am very aware we will struggle through some really hard days, I know we will have many joy filled days too. God is faithful and I trust today that He is leading us though this tunnel to bring our sweet boys home. I trust today that He is also the engineer that is conducting the train of my children’s hearts. |
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AuthorMy name is Deidra Miller. I have been married to my wonderful husband, Dusty, for 17 years. We have two biological children and our family is growing again. We prayed for 2,786 days and God answered our prayers. More days (almost 4 years) have been added as we wait for God's perfect plan for our family. We can't wait to meet our beautiful twin boys! Archives
October 2022
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