Our summer was full of fun and adventures. While our hearts long for our little guy to be home, life keeps moving in the waiting. Ansel had a fun summer of baseball and Sophia enjoyed her dramatic adventures as Iago in the Brooks and Bourke production of Aladdin. Ansel’s Bike-A-Thon was a great success thanks to all of you! My Time to Shine just finished it’s production of The Wizard of Oz. We love our time spent with friends during our summers with My Time to Shine. Lots of things are going on behind the scenes as we wait. There is still very positive forward movement in Burundi. The matching committee has met more regularly this year. They had a matching meeting in January 2018 and then met again in June 2018. This is great news as it means that children are being placed with their forever families! The court process in Burundi continues to improve and they are completing their process for families to travel in faster times. As our agency, and others, continue to help educate the people of Burundi, the general attitude toward foreign adoption continues to positively grow. Our agency is working to educate shelter directors about how to complete children’s paperwork after ensuring that they are eligible for adoption. Families are coming home with their children and God is in it all! God is working and moving in the wait. He continues to meet us where we are and grow our hearts. We know He is working, even if we can’t see it, to bring our son home to us. We trust His timing in our matching. As I mentioned above, the matching committee met in June. It took a very long time for our agency to get those referrals. We learned last night that our agency received 6 referral from that June meeting. Due to sibling groups those 6 referrals contain 9 children. God is good! I am sad to report we did not receive a referral from that meeting. We continue to wait. I had prepared myself, as I do with each matching meeting, that it might not be our time, but even still nothing can stop the tears and overwhelming sadness when you learn your child is still not coming home. We knew that it could be 12 to 18 months (estimation) from the time our paperwork was registered in country before we were matched. Our paperwork was registered on November 6th, 2017. We knew this was a long road and tried to prepare our hearts, but there is simply no preparing for the emotions that flood during the waiting. As I write this I keep running “what if” numbers in my mind. What if we are matched at the next meeting? What if they have that meeting in October? Then we would get news around December and we would travel between June and September 2019. What if we are not matched at the next meeting? What if we starting seeing longer time spans between meetings? The waiting easily turns into years. What if, what if, what if? I know God has beautifully marked out this journey. I trust Him, although I don’t fully understand. Why couldn’t we started this process when he placed the desire to adopt in our hearts over 9 years ago? Why did we have to wait and watch our other children grow? Why will I likely have a teenager when God brings me a 2-5 year old? Why does it look like I will be celebrating my 40th before I become a mom again? WHY isn’t he home yet? I know some of these questions might seem silly. And when not emotionally charged I would agree that they are indeed silly. Many family have situations that fit some of the above questions and it’s wonderful and perfect. I think the longing over time causes my brain to struggle to over think. (It’s only WAY worse because in daily life I might slightly over think things anyway;) ). As I cry and whisper, “ I trust you God” I am reminded of some promises and lessons learned. - God gave me a dream of my 3 children at Sophia’s wedding. They were joyous and connected as siblings. I know our son will be home before she is married and that they will have a love for one another. - I know God is bringing our child home. Not just any child, but the child he ordained to be a part of this family. -Since God ordained a specific child and we believe He has led us to Burundi, then we had to be in this program at this time in order to become a forever family. - If we had stated our adoption journey much before December 2016, Burundi would not yet have been open for adoption. -If we had waited the Burundi program would have closed, as our agency as temporarily stopped accepting families into this program as they work tireless to streamline the process. (There are 4 other agency in the U.S. that have a Burundi adoption program, but God hid those from us and we believe led us, despite our concerns at times, to our agency) The tears will come and go over the next few days, but I will always come back to trusting God. In the meantime, I would covet prayers to guard my heart from over thinking and wondering about the “what ifs” as we continue in the waiting.
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AuthorMy name is Deidra Miller. I have been married to my wonderful husband, Dusty, for 17 years. We have two biological children and our family is growing again. We prayed for 2,786 days and God answered our prayers. More days (almost 4 years) have been added as we wait for God's perfect plan for our family. We can't wait to meet our beautiful twin boys! Archives
October 2022
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