I have always wanted to be a mom. Before Dusty and I decided to grow our family, Mother's Day was a day of longing for me. God had given my heart the desire to be a momma. I remember my first Mother's Day with Ansel in my arms. I was so proud and full of joy. After church, an older lady wrapped her arms around me. She said, "I saw the pain in heart as you cried through church a few years ago on Mother's Day. I am glad God answered the cry of your heart." As I stood there with my precious bundle, I had to stop and gather myself. You see Dusty and I, to God be the glory, never struggled to become pregnant. I was crying that year not because I couldn't have a baby, but because I was waiting on God's timing and my heart was simply longing and hurting. God and I don't often (okay rarely) move at the same pace. Standing there with this amazing little man in my arms, I hurt for those who were also waiting on God's timing, whatever the situation. Mother's Day only came and went a couple times before I could proudly hold two beautiful babies. I was blessed. My blessings continued to grow as each Mother’s Day came and went. I would not trade my children for anything in the world (most days). But the cry of my heart was that someone was missing. I was back to waiting, waiting on God and praying for patience and understanding. Wishing I could see God's plan laid out before me. Today, I have a glimpse of His plan. I believe with all my heart we are on His path, at His time, to bring home the child He has ordained for us. On Thursday, the kids and I were reading a book we received through our Usborne Book Fundraiser. We picked this specific book to send in a care package for our little one once we are matched. I was hit with a rush of emotions as I listened to Ansel and Sophia reading the words and flipping open the flaps. I held the book in my hands and realized this book would touch our little man before we do. But, once he has the book in his hands, we will be close behind. We will be coming to bring him home! We all have a story. The desire God places in us to be mommies can be so strong. My story might be different from yours. My waiting and wanting are probably different from yours. But the hurt of waiting might just be more alike than we know.
This Mother’s Day, I am closer than I have been to holding my little one. My 8 years of waiting are slowly moving me closer to having my little man in my arms. I am not sure where you are this Mother’s day, but I know this, God is holding you in His arms. Jeremiah 29:11 states, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Waiting can be hard. Not knowing can be hard. Where ever you are today in God’s plan, Happy Mother’s Day to you!
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We have completed and sent the last of our home study paperwork. Praise the Lord! Not unlike giving birth, you know others have done this, but you feel like you are the only one when you are in the middle of it. I am so thankful for amazing friends who have already walked this road and continue to speak God’s truths into my heart as we put one foot in front of the other each and every day.
God's faithfulness is overwhelming at times. A friend once told me that adoption can be addictive. Before we officially started our adoption journey I wasn't really sure what she meant by that. But now, as we walk through each and everyday of the process and I see God moving mountain after mountain, I am starting to understand. It's in those miraculous moments that I realize with each obstacle that God clears, He takes the impossible and makes it completely possible. Thus, eliminating the fear of the unknown in this process. I am gaining an understanding that it's not that adoption is addictive, it’s watching God work miracles in your life that is addictive. The adoption journey calls us to give every second of our day to God. We have always leaned on Him in good times and hard times, but being in a consistent and ongoing hard time you have opportunities to see God moving consistently too. When you've stepped out in faith and answered the call of God and you watch him work in ways you never fathomed, the fear of the unknown falls completely away. God has ordained this path in our lives and because we are in His will, Satan has no grip on us. Yes, he is trying, but our faith is strong because we have seen our God move mountains and we know He is not done moving them. That is a powerful force against the enemy. Is adoption addictive? I don’t know, but I know watching the power of God move in my life and for my family is a very powerful thing. As God works through things and eliminates fear that would have been in place, He conquers the fear that Satan could put in our lives and we begin to understand fully God's plan and purpose. With the fear gone, all the unknowns and fears of adoption don’t seem to be that big of a deal. It’s easier to think, “Hey, we could do this again.” Watching God working through the adoption process makes it suddenly seem completely obtainable and repeatable. I find being this connected to God is the addiction. It is overwhelming to watch God work in ways so miraculous in my life. Who am I that God would look upon me? “Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory in the heavens. Through the praise of children and infants you have established a stronghold against your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger. When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? You have made them a little lower than the angels and crowned them with glory and honor. You made them rulers over the works of your hands; you put everything under their feet: all flocks and herds, and the animals of the wild, the birds in the sky, and the fish in the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas. Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!” ~Psalms 8 We have so far to go in this journey and yet we know God knows how every piece will fall into place. We can watch as God takes tiny details and seemingly coincidental events and puts them all together at the perfect moment. Those events are not coincidences at all. They are instead completely ordained moments that God knew and put into place long before I had dreams of any of my children. Declaring all of this, in the Name of the Lord, will not sit kindly with the enemy. We truly covet your prayers to cover our family as we continue on the path God has laid out for us. Pray specifically that we are covered by the blood of Christ and that Satan can’t gain a stronghold on us. Pray for the little one God has ordained for our family. Pray that he is physically, emotionally, and spiritually well. We can’t express how thankful we are that you are a part of this journey with us. Thank you for your faithful prayers, kind words, and other support. There is no way we could walk this path free from Satan’s fears without our family in Christ lifting us all up in prayer. Thank you for interceding on our behalf. |
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AuthorMy name is Deidra Miller. I have been married to my wonderful husband, Dusty, for 17 years. We have two biological children and our family is growing again. We prayed for 2,786 days and God answered our prayers. More days (almost 4 years) have been added as we wait for God's perfect plan for our family. We can't wait to meet our beautiful twin boys! Archives
October 2022
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