I recently read another adoptive family's blog and their words really spoke to my heart. They mentioned how God moves hearts differently toward adoption. They say, "for some, it's infertility, which though heartbreaking, opens a couple's eyes to the possibility of bringing a child into their home. For others, it's a pull on the heart that happens over time- a tug that doesn't come from discomfort and heartache, but a tug that causes comfortable hearts to ache for an unknown child" We fall into that second group. God has blessed our family to overflowing. We have two beautiful and wonderful children. I loved being pregnant! I had excellent deliveries. My babies nursed like champs. I wish our story was everyone's story. So why adopt? Why upset the balance of life? Why complicate the situation? Why? God moved us out of our comfort zone and asks us to follow Him. There were times in the 7 years of waiting that I questioned God. I had this plan for ALL my children to grow up together. Only a few years between each. I thought, we could easily have another child. We could, somewhat, control the timing and finances. But God was clear. And he was saying to me, "You are not in control. I have a plan far more wonderful than you can imagine." While we are comfortable and God provides all we ever need, we don't have an abundance in this world. When God called me to homeschool our children, we reduced our life to one income, we reduced many things. We were not sure how life would work. God was! We stepped out of our comfort zone and fell in line behind God and he has made the way clear. He has met our needs and many of our wants. God has been leading us on this journey to forever for a long time. He has been preparing our hearts for the plan He has for our family. I can say without hesitation; He has been preparing a way to finance this journey as well. With that said, we don't have thousands of extra dollars laying around. Adoption is a very taxing adventure. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially. So why go there? I can't be more clear that it is a calling from God. James 1:27 says, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." I have spent time in a children's village in China serving orphans. I have prayed over and advocated for children seeking a family. I have returned to China with a friend to support her as she brought home her 5th child. We have answered God's call to support families after they return home with their newly adopted child. God was calling for more. Our next step was always clear, but we were waiting on God's go. All our waiting and praying couldn't prepare us for the moment God said move. It was exhilarating and frightening all at the same time. We have complete peace that we are moving in step with God. And yet we don't know how and when everything will happen. Already we have had moments that feel like an emotional roller coaster. I think often of the Hillsong United song: Oceans. "Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander. And my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior." We are walking where God is taking us. I know our faith will be made stronger, but I also know there will be days I need others to intercede on my behalf, because I will be overwhelmed. God has blessed us with an amazing support system. If you are reading this, you are part of that group. You are part of our story. Our journey to forever. While you are praying for our family, we would ask you listen for God. Is He calling you? Has God blessed you in a way you can be a financial supporter in this journey? Or maybe God is whispering for you to step out of a comfort zone? It seems giving is not an option, but you feel a tug. If you feel God calling you to provide financial support, you can click on the link on the right side of the blog or under the make a difference tab. All gifts made through Pure Charity are tax deductible and go directly to our adoption agency, All God’s Children International, to cover fees associated with the adoption process. I know God is not just touching our family through this journey. I know He has blessings in store for all who join us on this journey. Thank you for lifting us up in prayers. Thank you for following any tugs God puts in your heart. Thank you for being our support system.
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Joyfully we want to tell you, all our friends and family, near and far, something that might be unexpected.... We're expecting! Our family is growing once again. We're adopting! "God thunders wondrously with his voice; He does great things that we cannot comprehend." Job 37:5
Our journey to Forever started before we were Mr. and Mrs. I can remember clearly the day we were, as a dating couple, traveling home from a family funeral. That day gave us pause to stop and consider our future. We spent a good portion of our drive home discussing how we saw children and adoption fitting into our life down the road. And the journey began. Dusty and I were married in 2003. I had always wanted to be a mom and I was ready immediately to begin the journey. In God's perfect timing, Ansel joined us in 2006. He was, to say the very least, a challenging baby. I was ready to put some time between him and a sibling, but again God's timing won the day and sweet Sophia joined our little family in 2009. When Sophia, a calm and easy baby, was 6 months old Dusty and I dropped the kids at a friend’s house and had a well-deserved date night. During that evening we discussed that while we were still able to have biological children, we felt God was calling us in a different direction. We each shared that God had given us a picture of what our family would be and by no surprise we were both given the same information from God. I was so excited that our "official" adoption journey was beginning. Now before I go on, I need to put in a disclaimer. Dusty is not a bad guy. I admire greatly his ability to hear God and wait for His timing. It also makes me incredibly crazy. I am a planner and controller (admittance is the first step, right). I get things in my mind and I am ready to move and make it happen. Dusty on the other hand can take time to quietly think it over and wait for the right time, God's time. He has taught me much over the years. Time and again I have been eager and Dusty has said, "Not yet, wait" and every time God shows up in big ways and we are blessed. I am blessed to have a best friend and partner who can help me in my weakness. That said, I thought our journey had begun (and it had), but nothing was happening. I prayed and I prayed. My heart ached for answers, timelines, and decisions. A year went by. I cried at conferences as people shared their adoption stories. I longed to wrap my arms around this child God had promised and was growing in my heart. Two years went by. I struggled with how God could put a desire in my heart and do nothing with it. I questioned Dusty about his true desires. I questioned God. Ansel gained an imaginary friend around this time. I believe with all my heart this was God preparing his little heart. How many children have an imaginary friend that is a different race? Ansel was asking when we were going to get another brother or sister. Get not have. At this point we had never discussed adoption with him. God was moving. Three years went by. I happily awaited friends bringing children home. Holding out hope that my time was coming. I co-led a mission trip to an orphanage in China. I feel in love, but God clearly said, "Your child is not here." It hurt! Where was my child? Four years went by. I continued to pray. Struggling some days to speak praises because I felt God had just abandoned his part of the deal. At many times was angry at God and Dusty. Five years went by. I walked beside a friend as she brought home her fourth child from China. I longed for my turn. I praised God for this gift. How amazing to be so involved in the process. I knew he must be preparing the way. But when? Where? I pushed Dusty for answers and timing. I even question his prayer methods, because he was clearly doing it wrong because nothing was happening. Ansel and Sophia were seeking answers to why they didn’t have more siblings. Six years went by. My children were growing and experiencing life, but with someone missing. I couldn't understand why we hadn't moved forward. I struggled when I was away from my children because I knew when we were together again someone would still be missing. God was working to prepare Ansel and Sophia too. As a family, we have fallen in love and formed great friendships with adoptive families. My children's eyes were open and they had questions. The always seemed to want to talk in the car when I was emotionally trapped. "Mom, can we adopt?" "Why haven't we adopted yet?" "We are ready for a brother or sister." After a few weeks of crying on our way to anywhere, I told them they were talking to the wrong parent. Seven years went by. Ansel and Sophia asked Dusty and I to join them in her room before we said prayers one night. We had no idea what craziness they were up too. Dusty and I sat on the floor and they asked us if we could please consider adoption (if only they knew). I was quiet and allowed Dusty to answer. His response was simple, "yes." They cheered and cheered. We then had to explain that these things take time. They said okay, were satisfied and ready to say prayers. Dusty and I continued to pray. Every day I was ready to “sign on the dotted line”. I waited. Then on the morning of September 22nd, 2016 on his way out of the door for work, Dusty turned around and said, "Why don't we get in touch with some people and start to figure out our first step." I was numb and shocked. Could this be happening? I did reach out to some friends to start some conversations and get our minds moving in the right direction, but still wasn't sure this was real. Was this our time? We prayed for 7 years, 7 month, 17 days and God answered (2,786 days) Dusty had listened and waited on God. The timing was not just right, but Perfect! We started praying more specific prayers. Calling and talking with different agencies. In a very short amount of time, God had closed doors we felt certain we would walk through and opened wide doors we never saw in our future. We prayed and prayed and listened and God showed us a path that will lead us to the child he has been growing in our hearts for 7 years. There is still time to wait, there is still an uncertain timeline, there is still a longing, but there is also a peace that surpasses it all because we are walking in the calling of the Lord. We are in His will and the worry and the stress have rolled away (from a big picture perspective. There are still plenty of worries and stresses to battle with prayer). Our journey to forever is now just beginning. Thank you for joining us in prayer and support. God has blessed our family with an amazing support system. We will need to emotionally lean on many of you over the next few years. If only for a moment. Thank you, in advance for being the hands and feet of Christ to us as we begin our journey to being forever parents. |
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AuthorMy name is Deidra Miller. I have been married to my wonderful husband, Dusty, for 17 years. We have two biological children and our family is growing again. We prayed for 2,786 days and God answered our prayers. More days (almost 4 years) have been added as we wait for God's perfect plan for our family. We can't wait to meet our beautiful twin boys! Archives
October 2022
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