Happy Ninja Heart Day to our precious twin boys!!!! This past year seems like a blink of an eye and a lifetime all at once. The boys have always been in our hearts so they have always been with us, but this past year of laughter, joy, delight, and love have been such a joy to our hearts. We do have teens and toddlers, so if we are honest the days can be exhausting. The old adage the days are long and the years are short rings so true in our hearts. God ordained our family. We are not perfect. We miss the mark some days, but we love deeply. The twelve years of waiting were, at times, unbearable, but God’s beautiful, perfect plan for our family is so much more glorious. Here is a look at 1 year of forever! Ennis: Based on limited pictures and videos that we had received of him, we were a bit concerned about our sweet boy. He was withdrawn from the group, he didn't smile, and his eyes showed that he was disconnected. The moment we stepped into the shelter we heard a little voice yell, "mama!" It was our sweet Ennis. As soon as they let the boys come into us, he pushed his way past all the kids, other adults, and onto my lap. He didn't let go for two days. I believe God had been preparing him for us and he felt safe and loved when wrapped in our arms. He changed so much in those early days. He came to life. He found his smile and his laughter. The day we first held our sweet boy he was 4 years old and weighed 22 and was 31 inches tall. He was wearing 18 months pants and 2T shirts to make room for his distended belly (although we didn't have those sizes). He wore a toddler size 5 shoe. Today, 1 year later, he is a vibrant 5 year old. He weighs 37 lbs and is 39.5 inches tall. He is wearing 4T clothes (for another minute). He wears a toddler size 8 shoe. We are blown away at ALL the ways he has grown in 365 days. Gained 15 pounds, grown 8.5 inches, and grown 3 shoe sizes. What a year! Ennis loves life. He loves to tease and trick people. He is very expressive and does not hesitate to let you know how he feels about something. He loves playing with cars, building with magnet tiles, riding his bike, and eating! He loves letters and their sounds. He wants to spend his time with his whole family together. Harrison: We knew right away from pictures and videos we received that Harrison could command a room. He had no problem stepping into a leadership role. The day we met our precious boys, he showed us just how easily and with grace he commanded adults and children. In our early days, he struggled with having two adults who were giving him undivided attention. He adored it when he wanted it, but when he wanted to be out of a watchful eye he couldn't escape us and was frustrated to not have that control. In our first days together he always wanted to be held and hold us close. He was full of life and energy and loved to try all things new. The day we first held our sweet boy he was 4 years old, weighed 25 pounds and was 36 inches tall. He was wearing 2T pants for length and 3T shirts to make room for his distended belly (although we didn't have those sizes). He wore a toddler size 7 shoe. Today, 1 year later, he is a vibrant 5 year old. He weighs 35 lbs and is 41.5 inches tall. He is wearing 4T clothes (for another minute). He wears a toddler size 9 shoe. We are blown away at ALL the ways he has grown in 365 days. Gained 10 pounds, grown 5.5 inches, and grown 2 shoe sizes. What a year! Harrison is always processing the world around him. He loves play with toys and watch TV. He likes to help and be a part of whatever is going on. He loves playing with cars, building with magnet tiles, riding his bike, and being outside! He loves to go on adventures and always wants to know what we have planned next. These amazing boys have handled every change with grace and ease. They stepped into the unknown bravely and embraced new life that lay ahead. We daily celebrate Burundi and their Burundi home. We talk about their Burundi family and video chat with friends from their shelter. We have settled into life as a family of six and we can’t wait to see what God has ahead!
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Our adoption process broke me on so many levels. The twelve years of waiting shattered me into such small pieces that there is no picking them up and putting them back together. I came out the other side a different person. There is no going back and I am thankful for who God rebuilt me to be.
I relied so completely on God and I followed Him Faithfully, it's easy to assume that because I did that and He granted me what He promised and what I had been longing for that suddenly things would be a dream, complete. Our journey to our boys was a journey God laid out before me to mold me into whom he wanted me to be. What I have discovered is that I am nothing. It is God who loves me enough to call me to something bigger than myself and allow me to have court side seats to Him doing amazing things. It is God who loves me enough to pour these blessings into my life. Things can never be as they were before we began this journey. I don't want to be the person that I was when I started, but I know now that simply because God followed through on this promise doesn’t mean my journey is over. My flesh still wrestles with my spirit. I desire more than ever to be the very best version of me to honor the mighty savior whom I have the privilege of serving. I think, at some point, I fully expected that when our boys came home I would feel full/complete. My children are my world. All four of them! I am a mom and I have days when I am exhausted from the fifty million questions, picking up toys, wiping faces and bottoms, monitoring electronics, managing schedules, planning their schooling, being the doctor, making meals….you know the list. I am also a mom who can’t believe she gets to be home every day with her children. I get to learn with them, laugh with them, and play with them every day. I am fulfilled, but I am not complete. God wants me to keep stretching, growing, and changing for Him. God keeps whispering I have more for you. I continue to seek Him in all areas of my life and I will continue to be imperfect as I wade through this thing called life. I will mess up as a wife, mom, daughter, sister and friend, but I will continue to go to those I love and seek forgiveness and grace. I will continue to repent before my Lord and find rest in His shelter. This week, we will celebrate one year with the boys. This past year seems like it has been a blink of an eye and a lifetime. A gift I am eternally grateful for. October is the month that marks 1 year together. This morning as we changed our school calendar to October and discussed the events of the upcoming month, the boys and I talked about the day we first met when Papa and I walked into their shelter in Burundi. I told the boys that many people call that day something special like gotcha day, adoption day, or family day….I asked them what they would like to call that day. Their response was immediate, “Ninja Heart Day!!” For that to make sense to you we will have to back up a few weeks.
I made up a song for our preschool group at Forest School. The song, Going On a Nature Hike, is sung to the tune of Mary had a Little Lamb. Then a couple of weeks ago I “made up” name songs for the boys to help learn how to spell their names. One of the songs was to the tune of London Bridges and then somehow I shifted it to Mary had Little Lamb (because this mom brain is on a mega struggle bus). I didn’t realize I had done this and while brushing teeth before bed and singing our name songs I was asked a question over and over. Our boys are doing amazing with speaking English, but there are still times when we are not quite sure what they are saying. This was one of those times. I was not in the same context as them, because I didn't realized I had changed the tune. I guessed everything I could think of and in their frustration they just kept saying the same phrase over and over again. Asking if this was the nature hike song. All I heard was ninja heart. So I asked them, “Are you saying ninja heart?” This immediately changed the mood in the room. We went from two frustrated boys to two boys laughing so hard they were in tears. I am really not sure what made it so VERY funny, but they laughed for days. Since then we have moments when they yell out ninja heart and then are in stitches, hands slapping knees in laughter. So today, when I asked them what we should call the day that they met Mama and Papa for the first time there was no question. Ninja heart day! We all laughed and then I thought how beautiful! That day when we embraced for the first time. That day we heard a little voice call out for mama before we ever saw him. That day that these brave boys showed us around to their family in Burundi and were proud that we were theirs. That day when we saw God’s promises reaching their arms out for us. On that day, like a ninja, love snuck right in without any of us knowing and we stole each other’s hearts. Yes, Ninja Heart Day will be the perfect name for the day we all met in the beautiful mountains of Burundi. We can’t wait to celebrate ninja heart day at the end of this month. |
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AuthorMy name is Deidra Miller. I have been married to my wonderful husband, Dusty, for 17 years. We have two biological children and our family is growing again. We prayed for 2,786 days and God answered our prayers. More days (almost 4 years) have been added as we wait for God's perfect plan for our family. We can't wait to meet our beautiful twin boys! Archives
October 2022
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